The crowd

Nothing is the same when you have a sea of faces staring at you. playing saxophone gives me joy, anger, motivation, and everything else. I study music here at the university, I play with the jazz band here, i create music of my own, and every spare second i have headphones in my ears. Some how music has invaded every corner of my life.
I somehow earned myself a seat in the to jazz group here, the Texas state Jazz ensemble, which is composed of a couple dozen of encredibly talented musicians far beyond my leval. Many of the members are allread professionals making a living from there talent in the real world. I have done my very best to keep up and hold my ground but sometimes its still exrtremley overwhelming.
Last monday we had our first concert, which was amazing. Never before had I performed with a group at this leval. Looking around and listening to the people around me put my mind in shock. This is it, this is what music is really like. Hearing song after song unfold like masperpieces in art gallery, and each musician playing there heart out of the instament. It was one of the most amazing musical experiances I have ever had. And then It was my turn.
We got to the second to last piece, groove merchant, The piece with my solo. When the guys play solos in this group they close they push there body, mind and soul to a nother leval, they throw genuis out in the air and blow there brains out. There fingers fly as everyone stairs in amazement. But it was my turn to stand up now. No written notes out, no rehearse parts just my own heart. I had to let my feelings come out and make up music of the top of my head. I had Done improve solos before infront of huge crowds before, but this was different. It was near the end of the concert and everyone had heard so many wonderfull solos. How could i Possibly evin measure up to whats been played before me.
I stood up took a deep breath, but right before i started i looked out. And what I saw stoped my heart. It was what seamed to be everyone in the world stairing straight at me. Some how they stoped my heart. Then it began to race. faster and fast. 5 4 3 2 1 (I saw the director point to me indicating it was now my time to solo) the next 30 seconds were a confusing haze. All I could here was the base line and the drums. My fingers were moving and my lungs were blowing, but I wasnt really thinking about it. Eventually i could hear music. And then I realized it was coming from me. I could hear myself again. But it was more than music it was a feeling.
I still have no clue what I played in that 30 seconds but my friends tell me it was better than ive ever done. Its funny what 100 faces do to you. Life isnt quit the same when everyones staring at you. I love that feeling. In those few seconds nothing else in the universe could possibly matter. nothing in the past of future could even hope to enter your mind. Just now and here.
In all reality the stage was small, it wasnt too important of a show, and there wernt very many people in the crowd. But in that second that crowd looked like the entire world. I cant wait till the next time. When ill stand up infront of the entire universe and show them who I am.